


Sirius Black's Gay Revelation

by YouGotaLifetime



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Angst, Gay Sirius Black, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Marauders' Era, SO GAY, so dramatic, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-12
Updated: 2018-01-22
Packaged: 2019-03-04 01:40:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13353831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YouGotaLifetime/pseuds/YouGotaLifetime
Summary: "The first time Sirius Black kissed a boy, he felt his world fall apart. He found a new one in the other boy's lips." Each chapter depicting a different time Sirius kisses a boy, starting with the first time and ending with the last. An overly-dramatic telling of how Sirius Black found himself.





	1. The First Kiss

The first time Sirius Black kissed a boy, he felt his world fall apart. He found a new one in the other boy’s lips.

He told himself it was because he'd been dared to. He told himself it meant nothing. The other third year, a Ravenclaw boy, had laughed and agreed goodnaturedly when Marlene proposed the dare. His name was Simon.

None of them were supposed to be there, anyway. It was after hours, and Marlene had convinced the Marauders (as James affectionately called their little group) to join her and some friends for a late night game of Truth or Dare instead of planning another prank on Filch like they'd intended. Instead, the four of them had joined a small group of third years from all the houses (except Slytherin, Sirius was happy to see) to hide in an abandoned classroom at 1 in the morning, cleverly charmed to repel Mrs. Norris, and play the silly Muggle game Dorcas had told Marlene about once, a decision she later regretted because Marlene would not shut up about it until others had agreed to play it with her.

A part of him - a large part, judging by the bit of screaming going on inside his head - wished he could go back just a few seconds and pick truth instead. After all, he hadn’t picked truth at all tonight, because how could he turn down a perfectly good dare? No, he was on a roll, having already sung a dramatic ode to McGonagall’s glasses, transfigured his eyebrows a soft shade of gold, and given Peter a piggy-back ride around the classroom while wearing his socks on his ears (James had a strange sense of humor). He was ready for anything.

He thought.

But here he was, face to face with a boy he’d seen around the school and in class but never really spoken to before, so close he could feel Simon’s breath on his face, so nervous he thought he might vomit right on Simon’s unbelievably soft-looking face. His heart was quickening in a way he could not explain. Maybe because it was his first kiss. His first real one, anyway. Kissing girls on the cheek and quick pecks in play did not count in his book. This would be his first proper kiss.

And it was going to be with a boy.

Sirius was unnervingly aware of the eyes of everyone in the room on him and Simon. He could feel Marlene waiting smugly for him to make a move, Dorcas having tried her best to get Marlene to not enjoy this quite so much. He swore he could feel Peter and James vibrating across the circle from him, Peter wide-eyed and James trying not to crack up from how stupid this probably looked. Remus was, thankfully, not there. It was a full moon in a few days, and he had begged off tonight to get sleep while he still could. A pair of Hufflepuff girls were giggling a little.

But most of all, Sirius was aware of Simon’s eyes on him, expectant. He hadn’t been able to meet them yet; he was too nervous. Steeling himself, he looked at them now. He gasped involuntarily at how warm those eyes were, a soft brown flecked with bits of bronze. Simon smiled slightly at Sirius’s reaction.

“You know, there are unspoken time limits on these things,” Simon whispered, leaning even closer so now Sirius could feel each “s” on his lips. “And it is your dare. Either you kiss me soon or Marlene is gonna take the mickey out of you. I hear the penalties for not following through on these muggle games are pretty harsh.”

“She’s going to do that whether I kiss you or not,” Sirius mumbled tensely. Simon chuckled, and Sirius felt it in his gut.

“Then why not just kiss me and get it over with?”

“I...well…”

Simon leaned back just slightly. “Is it ‘cos I’m a boy?” Sirius hesitated, which seemed to tell Simon everything he needed to know. He nodded. “It’s alright, no one will hold it against you. It’s a dare, and everyone here knows it.” He leaned back in so their noses were almost touching. Sirius had to stop himself from leaning away. “Come on, Black. Where’s that Gryffindor courage we all know you have?”

That did it. Before he could stop himself, Sirius had closed his eyes and the short gap between him and Simon until their lips met with more force than he’d intended.

It was meant to just be a short, yet solid, kiss. That’s what Marlene had dared him to do. But when their lips met, albeit with some nervous rigidity, Sirius had felt a part of his chest crack open. That was the only way he could describe it. The feeling of Simon’s lips on his, of another boy’s lips on his, had broken through a barrier in him he hadn’t known was there. It hurt a little. He couldn’t get one thought out of his head. It was playing on repeat like a broken muggle record: I’m kissing a boy. I am kissing another boy. This is a boy I’m kissing. I’m kissing a boy. He was paralyzed with it.

It felt like the world was ending.

But Simon didn’t immediately pull away, either. In fact, if Sirius wasn’t mistaken, he could feel Simon’s lips moving slightly against his own, just softly, not pushing, just gently letting Sirius know Simon would stay here as long as Sirius wanted him to.

Did he want him to?

The crack got bigger, and still Sirius didn’t pull away. With his eyes closed like this, he could almost pretend no one else was here. The room was oddly silent. A part of Sirius was worried about this silence. Another part of him, the part shining slightly through the crack in his chest, didn’t want to worry about that, didn’t want to worry about the other people in the room.

It wanted to figure out what would happen if he moved his lips, too.

He didn’t get the chance. Before he’d made up his mind, Marlene said, “Okay, lovebirds, break it up. You did it. Dare completed. Let’s let somebody else go now, eh?”

Simon was the one who broke the kiss. Sirius was still a little dazed from the unexpectedly emotional experience. For a second, all he could do was stare at Simon, who gazed back with a soft smile that made Sirius want to try and kiss him again. But Simon moved back to his spot in the circle, and Sirius had to shake off what had just happened so he could continue the game. As he dared Dorcas to stand on her head for a minute straight, he briefly caught James’s eye. He was surprised to see that James looked more quizzical than anything else, like he was about to figure something out but hadn’t quite managed it yet. Sirius quickly looked away, his cheeks warm. There was nothing to figure out.

Probably.

 

The small party broke up a short time later after Peter almost cried about being forced to admit he had a crush on Lacey, the Hufflepuff girl sitting next to him. In his defense, though, Sirius thought, it had been very rude of Lacey to laugh in his face about it. Dorcas had to declare the game over before either James or Sirius could step in on his behalf. Sirius had never punched a girl before, but nobody made his friends cry.

“Well that was a wild time,” James said on their way out of the classroom. The Marauders had hung back as everyone else left so they could slip out under James’s invisibility cloak, thus reducing their chances of being caught.

“No kidding,” Sirius said. He still hadn’t shaken the kiss.

Apparently, neither had James. “So. You kissed a bloke.” His tone, Sirius was sure, was meant to be nonchalant, but James was never any good at subtlety.

Sirius sighed heavily. “Okay, okay, get it out now, but keep in mind that it was a dare. I only did what any good Gryffindor would do.”

“Looked like more than that to me,” Peter mumbled. Sirius stamped on his foot hard. Peter squeaked.

“Quiet!” James hissed. “You’ll get us caught like that!”

“Sorry!” Peter whispered.

“It was just a dare,” Sirius insisted, residual stress making his voice defensive and harsh.

James held up his hands in surrender. “I know. I was just wondering...what was it like?”

A pang shot its way down the fresh fissure in Sirius’ chest. He hid it beneath a cocky smile he’d been trying to perfect. “Want to find out?”

James laughed it off, as he was meant to, but Sirius knew this was not the last he’d hear about this. Hee knew that James knew more than he was letting on. But Sirius wasn’t about to press the issue. The sooner he could forget about tonight, the better. 

 

When people make plans, the universe laughs. Such was the case with Sirius Black when the next morning, on their way down to the Great Hall for breakfast, Sirius found himself being tapped on the shoulder by none other than Simon.

“Got a minute?” Simon asked quietly.

Sirius just stared at him for a second, a little dumbstruck. And a little nervous. Did Simon want to talk about the kiss? Had it been weird? Had he changed his mind and decided to be mad at Sirius?

“I don’t believe we’ve been introduced.” It was Remus, coming up behind Sirius like his knight in shining armor, intent on his mission to save Sirius from this awkward situation.

“Oh, right,” Sirius said. “Remus, this is Simon. He’s the Ravenclaw third year from the Truth or Dare game last night. Simon, this is our elusive fourth roommate, Remus.”

“It’s a pleasure,” Remus said, putting his hand out for Simon to shake. Sirius thought he heard a little tightness in Remus’s voice, but he chocked it up to the full moon.

“Likewise,” Simon said with a smile, returning the handshake. “Could I steal Sirius for a moment? I had a question to ask him about our Potions assignment.”

“Sure thing,” Remus said. Sirius’s heart fell. His knight in shining armor had betrayed him. “We’ll meet you in the Great Hall, yeah?” And with that he turned away and headed back to breakfast. James shot Sirius one last look as he followed, Peter in tow.

That left Sirius alone with Simon.

Alone with the boy he’d kissed.

Fuck.

“Can we go somewhere...I don’t know, more private?”

“W-why? What’s wrong with here?” Sirius asked quickly, looking around them at the mercifully thick stream of hungry students.

Simon looked at him until Sirius met his eyes again. “You know why. I want to talk about last night, if that’s alright with you.”

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.

Sirius gulped nervously. He could still feel the fissure in his chest as a dull ache, like a healing wound. If he could have stayed away from Simon, maybe it would have healed over and everything would have gone back to normal. Instead here Simon was, standing right in front of him, wanting to talk about...about...

“I-I don’t know if this is s-such a good idea,” Sirius stammered. “I-I mean--”

“Look, I’m not going to jump you or anything,” Simon said, throwing his hands up defensively. “I just want to talk. Because if I’m right, you may be feeling a little confused and upset right now. I get that.” He put his hands back down at the wary look on Sirius’s face. “I just want to talk. That’s all.”

The crack pulsed. His cheeks grew hot. “Just to talk?” Simon nodded. Well, what was the harm in talking, Sirius thought. Talking was fine. Talking could be harmless. He talked to people all the time. He found himself nodding slowly. “Okay. Yeah, okay. Sure. Where?”

“This way.”

Simon led Sirius to a tapestry hanging on the wall behind them. Before Sirius could ask what he was doing, Simon had seemingly passed through the tapestry. Intrigued, Sirius followed and found himself in a thin hall that had been invisible from the other side. “Whoa,” he said. “Secret passageway.”

Simon smiled at the look of wonder on Sirius’s face. “Don’t tell me the great Sirius Black, member of the infamous Marauders, didn’t know this was here?”

“Not this one,” Sirius said, then stopped. “You know about the Marauders?”

Simon laughed. “You blokes aren’t exactly subtle, you know that?”

Sirius paused, then decided to try and play it cool around the pounding in his chest. He shrugged, then said, “What’s the use in subtlety?”

His next breath caught in his throat as the look in Simon’s eyes grew more serious, more intense. “It has its merits.”

He couldn’t move. It was like the specks of bronze in Simon’s eyes had pinned him to the wall, like the needles you used to pin butterfly wings. Involuntarily, he found himself backing up against the wall. When he felt his back hit cold stone, he tried to play it off by purposefully leaning against it, crossing his arms in front of his chest and propping his foot against the wall in an attempt to look cool and collected. “So what did you want to talk about?”

Simon stayed where he was, letting Sirius have his space. He was grateful for that. Sirius didn’t think his heart could take it if Simon moved any closer. “It wasn’t just a dare. Not for me, anyway.”

An audible crack sounded in Sirius’s ears, perfectly in time with a further breaking in his chest. If this continued, Sirius wouldn’t have any chest left. “W-what? What do you mean?”

“I mean,” Simon said, putting his hands helplessly in the pockets of his robes, “that it wasn’t nothing. Not for me.” He looked at the floor, a soft blush coloring his cheeks, an effect Sirius couldn’t help but find endearing. “I mean, yeah, it was a dare, but it wasn’t...it wasn’t just, you know?” Sirius shook his head, trying to keep his breathing under control. He didn’t trust himself to speak. “I mean,” Simon said, taking his hands out of his pockets and running them over his face in exasperation before looking helplessly back at Sirius. “What I’m trying to say, Sirius, is that I like you. Like, that kiss was…” He trailed off for a second, trying to find the right word.

“Nice,” Sirius said. He stopped, shocked at the fact that he’d spoken at all. What had he just said?

Simon’s eyes shot from the ground back up to Sirius’s. It made his chest ache. “Exactly,” Simon said, a little astounded. “It was nice.” He took a step toward Sirius, who had to lower his foot back to the ground to stabilize himself. He pressed his back further into the wall. “Sirius, I’m gay.”

“What?” Sirius asked sharply.

“I...I’m gay, Sirius,” Simon said, seeing the quickening in Sirius’s breath and refusing to back down. Sirius felt his chest tighten, heard a slight roaring in his ears. “It means I like boys.”

“I know what gay means!” Sirius had to fight to bring his voice back down; the last thing he needed was for people to hear them. He crossed his arms tighter over his chest. Maybe if he just held them there, he could keep his heart inside where it belonged, and prevent his chest from breaking open.

“Okay,” Simon said softly, hesitantly. “Then do you know what kissing you felt like for me?”

Sirius shook his head. He couldn’t speak. He couldn’t move. He could only try and keep his breathing under control as his body heated up all over and his chest tried not to explode. The roaring was getting louder.

Simon took another step forward that Sirius barely registered. “I’ve kissed girls before. It never felt like that. Kissing you felt...nice. It felt right. Like…” Again, he was at a loss for words. Had he been feeling more like himself, Sirius would have thought that Simon really needed to figure out what he was going to say before he started speaking. As it was, he could barely keep himself upright.

Simon finally seemed to notice Sirius imploding. He rushed forward, face worried. Sirius wondered how he must look, clutching his chest, probably sweating a little, knees shaking with the effort of standing. “Sirius? Merlin, are you alright? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you, I just wanted to -”

“Shut up.”

Simon stopped. Sirius didn’t know what was happening. His chest was coming apart at the seams, there were waves in his ears, and he seemed to be falling slightly into the warmth of Simon’s eyes. Thinking had mostly stopped, leaving behind one simple thing.

Sirius really, really wanted to kiss Simon again.

So he did. 

 

When your world falls apart around you, you can’t help but mourn for a minute. Sometimes you get lost in the wreckage of your old life. But sometimes you wipe away your tears and pick up the pieces, maybe building a new world from the old. If that’s not possible, then you set out for different lands, with foundations that won’t crumble so easily this time.

His old world was gone, shattered into pieces so small that Sirius wasn’t sure he’d ever remember how to put it back together. But he didn’t care. He was too busy building a new life from the taste of Simon’s tongue.


	2. Unexpected Kisses

The first time Sirius Black was kissed by a boy, it was completely unexpected and probably one of the most innocent and wonderful things he’d ever encountered in his unfortunately difficult life. 

Simon had broken up with him. He had told Sirius he didn’t want to be in a relationship that had to stay “in the closet,” as he put it. Sirius was hurt, at first, before he realized he didn’t even know Simon’s last name, and decided it was probably for the best. Still, he was feeling a little down. He hadn’t even told James or the others he was seeing Simon. He just didn’t know how they would react. Finding out your roommate was a werewolf and being fine with it was one thing. Finding out your roommate got lightheaded around cute boys was another things entirely. Besides, he was still coming to terms with it himself, so it was probably best to keep it under wraps for now. 

Yes, the crack in his chest was open for good now. There was no healing it over. It didn’t even feel like a crack anymore, when he thought about it. It felt more like an entire outer layer of himself had been taken off, one that was rusted shut and highly uncomfortable. And it was the most freeing feeling, to be rid of it. He felt he could scale mountains, fight a dragon, and kiss any boy he wanted, all at the same time. 

He didn’t, of course. There weren’t any mountains or dragons nearby, and Simon was the only boy he’d ever kissed. Maybe someday…

“What could you possibly be thinking about with such earnest this early in the morning?” 

Sirius jumped, realizing he was still seated at the breakfast table with the Marauders. He must have been staring into space for several minutes now, lost in thought. Remus was looking at him expectantly, waiting for an answer. James and Peter looked on curiously. 

“Um, I…” Sirius said, unable to think of a convincing lie. 

Until Severus Snape walked into view. Sirius felt a cocky grin spread across his face. 

“Just wondering what on earth Snivellus’s parents were thinking when they had him! It had to be a mistake!” he said, just loudly enough for Snape to hear him. James laughed loudly. Snape glared in his direction and walked away quickly. Lily Evans got up from nearby, having heard everything, gave them the most chilling glare, and went to comfort her friend. James looked on adoringly. 

“She may be scary when she’s angry, but I really admire that about her.” He sighed. “I love strong women.” 

“Well maybe if you stopped tormenting Snape, she might actually like you back,” Remus said. 

James shrugged. “You may be right, Rem. Oh look, the mail’s here!” 

Sirius didn’t even bother to look up at the commotion of feathers above their heads. He rarely ever got letters from his parents, and when he did, it wasn’t a happy occasion. He just calmly ate his eggs as his fellow students opened packages and letters and newspapers. 

“Um, Sirius,” Peter said. Sirius looked up at him, then at where he was pointing. In front of him was a cream envelope, sealed with bold black wax in a crest that made Sirius’s chest drop into his stomach and his stomach land somewhere by his shoes. 

“Oh,” he said, trying to be casual, though he knew the others weren’t buying it. “Didn’t see that there.” With exaggerated care, Sirius placed his fork and knife gently on the edge of his plate, reaching forward with one hand to grasp the letter, then held it in his lap, his back straightening without him meaning it to, his breathing tight, the black insignia filling his vision. 

“Sirius, are you alright?” James asked, his voice trying to make Sirius look at him. But Sirius couldn’t seem to tear his gaze away from the envelope. 

“Sirius,” Remus said softly, placing a hand on his arm. 

Sirius jumped reflexively at the contact, violently flinching away. Remus removed his hand as quickly as humanly possible, staring at him in concern. He looked over at James and Peter and saw similar looks on their faces. He relaxed as much as he could, smoothing his muscles out so he wasn’t quite so small, so frightened. 

“Sorry,” he said. “Just a bit jumpy today, I suppose.” His hand clenched around the letter he was holding, though he was careful not to crinkle it. 

“Are you okay?” James asked. 

Sirius looked over at his best friend and tried to smile. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” 

The look of disbelief on his friends’ faces told him he wasn’t fooling anyone. Trying to prove them wrong, he opened the envelope as calmly and precisely as he could, removing the letter and casually beginning to read.

_Sirius Orion Black,_  
Your father and I have received numerous letters from Hogwarts stating the terrible conduct you have exhibited both in and out of your classes. How dare you disgrace the ancient and most noble house of Black with your disgusting behavior? You are unworthy of the name you were blessed with. You are a stain on this family, a foul child, an embarrassment your father and I are tired of trying to excuse. If we receive any more word that your so-called “friends” in that disreputable house are further encouraging your incessant delinquency, we will personally visit the school to punish you ourselves, as your professors are obviously unwilling to exhibit the proper discipline needed to deal with you.  
Do not vex me further. 

It wasn’t signed. It simply ended. Sirius felt the color run from his face, probably pooling on the floor where his stomach still surely resided. Trying to keep his hands from trembling, Sirius refolded the letter and placed it in the envelope. He felt like his head were exploding. “Disgrace,” “embarrassment,” “unworthy,” and, most of all, “punish you ourselves” flew madly around inside his head, pounding against the sides like angry wasps trapped in a jar. He felt cold dread seep into his chest, freezing him to the spot. He worked at keeping his face passive, but felt a tightness grow around his eyes, mouth, and temples, threatening tears burning him from the inside out. The mix of cold in his chest and heat in his face made him feel clammy and sweaty, made his skin prickle painfully. He barely trusted himself to speak, so he simply stood up from the table and left, taking his bag with him. The others didn’t try to stop him; they merely watched him walk away, worry etched too prominently in their faces. 

The last thought in Sirius’s head before he began to drown in thought in his dormitory was, _Thank Merlin it’s Saturday._

It didn’t take much for him to succumb to the incessant screaming of his mother’s voice inside his head, tearing him apart with the sharpness of it. His imagination had a lot to work with, calling him every nasty, vile thing his mother had ever shouted at him in his thirteen years of life, replaying every word of her most recent letter in vivid detail, as if she were standing in front of him. He crumbled to the floor of the bedroom, throwing his arms over his head to protect himself. But there was no protecting himself from his thoughts. 

Before long, Sirius felt hot, terrified tears streaming down his face. There was no sound as he wiped the snot from his face. He’d learned years ago how to cry silently. It was a necessary element of survival in his house. 

A knocking on the door behind him startled him so violently that he practically flew across the room to his bed, burrowing under the covers in desperation, before he realized he was in his dormitory at Hogwarts and not in his bedroom at Grimmauld Place. 

“Sirius?” a soft, soothing voice said from the other side. Remus. Sirius didn’t respond, hoping that if he said nothing, Remus would go away and leave him alone. He didn’t understand why he breaking down so badly; it wasn’t like this letter was different from any of the others he received from his parents. It was bad enough he was crying in the first place; he sure as hell wasn’t going to let the other Marauders see him like this. 

“Sirius, I know you’re in there,” Remus said. “It’s just me; I sent James and Peter out to the grounds to look for you. Can I come in?” 

Sirius hesitated. Just the sound of Remus’s voice seemed to be soothing the ache in his chest just a little, made the tears come more slowly. Maybe it would help if…

But this was stupid! What would Remus think if he knew how Sirius reacted to a letter from his parents? Surely everyone received a disciplinary letter from their parents sometimes. And with all the pranks the Marauders pulled, it was a wonder Walburga and Orion Black hadn’t shown up at Hogwarts sooner. No, he wouldn’t let Remus see him like this. He was being ridiculous. 

He heard a faint sigh from the other side of the door, then a soft thump. Was Remus sitting outside? 

“I’ll be here. When you’re ready to talk. I have nowhere else to be.” And with that simple statement, Sirius heard the undeniable sound of Remus opening a book and beginning to read. 

He was mad! There was no way Remus could sit out in the hallway all day waiting for Sirius to come out! Could he? 

Sirius thought about it. Either he let Remus wait out there for who knew how long while he got his shit together...or he let Remus see him like this, snot and all. 

It took him an embarrassingly long time to come to the conclusion that if anyone was going to not judge Sirius for his breakdown, it would be Remus. After all, how many times had Sirius held Remus after a full moon while he broke down crying about the unfairness of his situation? 

Tentatively, Sirius eased himself up from the bed, padded quietly over to the door, and opened it slowly. Remus was leaning against it. When he felt the door opening, he turned around, took one look at Sirius’s undoubtedly red and tear-stained face, and scrambled up from the floor, tugging his bag after him.

When Sirius closed the door behind Remus, he realized how reluctant he was to turn around. So instead of doing that, he simply leaned his head against the door, breathing deeply. He heard Remus set his bag down, then sit down on one of the beds, waiting for Sirius to talk to him. Sirius felt his chest swell again with gratitude at this small gesture of consideration. It was amazing how versatile the chest was in the feelings department, and his seemed to be getting quite the workout lately. 

“Sorry for running off like that,” Sirius said without turning around, his nonchalant tone undercut by the fact that he couldn’t face Remus. “I really had to use the restroom, and I forgot my books in the --”

“You and I both know that’s bullshit,” Remus interrupted. Sirius stopped talking. “I’m sorry,” Remus said, “but it’s true. Now, you don’t have to speak right away, or even at all. But I’m here for as long as you want me to be. We can talk about anything you want: that letter, why you ran off, the Charms essay due next week, Quidditch, how stupid James looks pining after Lily.” That last got a small chuckle out of Sirius. “But don’t try to play this off like nothing happened. Don’t explain it away. You’re not as good a liar as you think you are, Sirius.” Remus sighed. “Just...let me be there for you.” 

_Well, shit,_ Sirius thought. The tears were back, and with a vengeance. They poured down his face despite his best attempts to stop them. Something in the tone of Remus’s voice had broken him down to the most basic desire in his heart at this moment. 

Sirius turned around sharply, keeping his head down, and threw himself next to Remus on the bed, burying his face and his hands in the other boy’s sweater, and let himself sob. Remus simply reached up and wrapped his arms around Sirius’s shoulders and held him. 

 

When Sirius had calmed down (an embarrassingly long time later), he let Remus read the letter from his mother. 

“Shit,” Remus said, after he was done. Sirius nodded, not saying anything. “Sirius, I’m so sorry. This letter...well.” He trailed off. “No one should speak to their children like this.” 

Sirius looked up. “What do you mean?” he asked. “Don’t everyone’s parents yell at them for doing dumb stuff?” 

He couldn’t quite decipher the look on Remus’s face. “Sirius, how often do your parents talk to you like this?” 

Sirius furrowed his brow and shrugged. “I don’t know. All the time?” 

Remus’s eyes got very large. The intensity of his gaze made Sirius feel a little hot and uncomfortable, making him squirm and look away. “Sirius,” Remus said softly. “This isn’t right. I can’t imagine what it must be like to hear these horrible things from your own parents.” 

“No worse than when they hit me,” Sirius said. Remus’s eyes got wider, if that were even possible. Sirius quirked an eyebrow at him. “What?” 

“Oh Sirius,” Remus said, right before throwing his arms around Sirius and pulling him close. 

Sirius sat there in Remus’s arms for a minute, wondering what it was he’d said. Then it dawned on him. He pulled away from Remus to look him in the face. “Your parents don’t do any of that, do they?” Remus shook his head, his face passive. Sirius couldn’t look at him, couldn’t stand the look of pity on his face. Sirius had always known his parents were awful, sure. But he had just thought...he didn’t know what to think now. He hung his head and pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes, trying to stem the fresh flow of tears. He didn’t feel like his world was ending; not just yet. But he knew it wouldn’t be the same after this. How could he not have realized that being backhanded with the family ring wasn’t normal? 

He wasn’t normal. There was nothing normal about him. Everything about him, including his parents, was about as far from normal as you could get.  
What was wrong with him? 

“Sirius,” Remus said, gently placing a hand on Sirius’s shoulder. “I’m so sorry this happens to you.” A pause, then the sound of Remus scooting closer. Sirius’s heart skipped a beat as he felt the warmth of Remus’s body pressed against his side. “But I’m here for you. Whatever you need, whenever you need it. And so is James. And Peter. We’ll always have your back, mate. We’re the Marauders.” Sirius looked up then, into the small smile on Remus’s face. He almost seemed to glow with it, Sirius thought. With love. And support. Sirius had never really seen anyone look at him like that before. 

“Thank you, Remus,” Sirius said softly. What was going on? Why was his heart trying to break its way out of his chest? Why was it so hot in here? 

Remus’s smile grew bigger, and Sirius felt his breath catch in his throat. Oh, he thought. That’s why. 

“Any time,” Remus said. He started to get up, then paused, his brow furrowing. Sirius waited, a little stunned. Remus sat back down. The look he gave Sirius just then was curious, but determined. Before Sirius could react, Remus had leaned in and given him the smallest kiss on the cheek. Just a peck, really. But it sent shivers over his arms and made his cheek red and very warm. “I’ll let you be, now. But we’ll be right downstairs, if you need us.” Remus stood, and Sirius watched him. “I have to go let James and Peter know you’re okay.” He smiled before turning around and leaving the dormitory, closing the door behind him. 

Sirius unconsciously put the tips of his fingers to the spot where Remus’s lips had met his skin. He watched the door for he didn’t even know how long, wanting it to open, wanting Remus to come back into his arms. Maybe kiss him again. 

“Hold up,” Sirius said, startling himself out of his reverie. For the second time that day, realization hit him in the face like an incoming bludger.  
_Oh fuck._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Hope you liked chapter 2. This one wasn't quite so sappy and dramatic as the last one. I wanted to add a little angst to the mix. Also, in case you were wondering, yes there will be Wolfstar in this. Like a lot of it. Because I ship them so hard. Let me know what you think of the story! Hopefully I can update again soon.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic on AO3, so go easy on me. I'll update when I can, but I'm a student and there are no guarantees. I also have no idea how long this is going to be. We'll find out together.


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